One Mom's Letter to the World

"It's okay for you to think he's cute, but... You wouldn't actually go out with him, right?  He's white!  And you're not.  I'm not racist or anything.  That's just weird!"

"I could never adopt because I think it would be impossible to love the adopted kid as much as a real kid.  I mean, I know you're adopted and all, but you know what I mean, right?"

"At least I wasn't taken away from my parents like you were."

"Your mom just adopted you because she felt sorry for you."

"WHAT?!  Your mom is WHITE?!  How??""

"Hmmm.  I thought African American people were supposed to be good at sports."

"Why would your parents want to adopt instead of having real kids?  Can they not have kids of their own?"

"My dad isn't racist.  He just told me I can't ever date black boys because he doesn't trust them.  But it's okay if I'm friends with you!  You're a girl!  It's different.  So it's not that big of a deal that you're black.  We can still like hang out and stuff!"

"So.  Did your first parents just not want you, or what?"



Dear World,

Sometimes you say some pretty ignorant things.

Sincerely,
The momma of some pretty amazing kids who are frequently told lots of un-amazing things

P.S. I don't know what having biological kids is like.  I never plan to.  (Seriously, people.  Our house is at maximum capacity.  My stress level is, too.)  But I know I would give my life to protect my kids, and I can't imagine a love any greater than that.  I'd say that makes me a "real" mom of "real" kids.

P.P.S.  I always encourage my kids to walk away:  "Fighting isn't the answer. You're better than that.  We always treat everyone - even people we don't like - with respect.  Just walk away."  ... That sort of thing.  

Unless it's an ignorant comment  like the ones listed above.  Then my instructions are:  "Fighting isn't the answer. You're better than that.  We always treat everyone - even people who we don't like - with respect.  BUT, while you're walking away, if you want to think in your head 'My parents chose me. They begged for me;  they fought to adopt me.  Your parents were stuck with you'... I'm okay with that."

Perhaps it's not the best motherly advice.  But no one's perfect, right?