And sometimes you wonder how the heck they make it through the day in one piece.
Today, as my oldest son was giving the roof of our car a quick kiss, my husband leaned over and said, "We really need to make a list of these moments." You know, the moments that you're simultaneously thinking "Wait... I'm really having to say this?" and wondering how your kids could have lived with you for three months now (or, in our oldest daughter's case, three years) and NOT know this stuff yet. The moments that you look around and ask, "Am I just failing miserably as a parent right now?!"
#1 - "Sunshine, we do NOT kiss the roof of the car. ... And, no, we don't kiss the windows either."
#2 - "Goose, I'm sorry that your brother kicking the ball in your face has made your heart sad. Perhaps you shouldn't pick flowers when you're goalie anymore."
#3 - "Yes, I will give you a hug as long as you don't burp in my ear. I learned my lesson the first time."
#4 - "No, I will not judge your farting contest. Do you even know who you're talking to?!"
#5 - "Liam, I think it's great that you stole the ball in soccer today. No, we don't steel the ball from our own teammates. ...No, seriously, I probably wouldn't brag about that."
#6 - "Goose, make-up and high heels are worn around the house only. ...I understand that you don't think that's fair. You're five. Talk to me in eight years and I'll reconsider, I promise."
#7 - "It's okay. We're only twelve minutes late to church today. They probably haven't even gotten to the offering yet." (...We're working on it, okay?)
#8 - "Do they really need to join boy scouts? We've got our own troop right here." (Have I mentioned that my family is ginormous?)
#9 - (My routine bedtime conversation with our five-year-old) "Remember, one hug and one kiss. ...Yes, one drink. ...I'm sorry your tummy is growling. But the good news is we'll eat first thing in the morning again. ...Do you want me to cover you up now or later? ...I promise I'll remember to check on you AND cover you up AND make sure your door is cracked THIS much AND blow you a kiss. ...Your toe will be okay. ...No, we already read a book tonight. ...We'll talk about what we're having for breakfast in the morning. ...Yes, we have breakfast every morning. ...Please say excuse me when you burp. ...Now you want me to cover you up? But you just told me you wanted me to - never mind. Here you go. Of course I'll cover you up now. ...Here's your doggy to cuddle with! ...So you want me to cover you up later instead? Of course. I'll be happy to. ...You told me you didn't want Mr. Potato Head. But you do? Okay, great! Here you go! ...Well, it's amazing what band-aids can do and GUESS WHAT?! We can put a band-aid on that FIRST THING in the morning! ...My eyes always hurt a lot less when I close them. And, you know, go to sleep. ...Go to sleep, Goose. ...Goodnight Goose. ...That's fine, go to the bathroom. ...Did you wash your hands? No? Then why are your hands in your mouth?! Go wash your hands. ...Okay, goodnight! I love you! ...Who loves you more than anything? ...Yes, Mommy and Daddy. For the rest of forever."
#10 - "Please stop letting the dog lick you in the armpit."
Stay tuned. I'm sure we'll have more gems to add to this list. ;)
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